If she can't, I pity her

James Aylett — Thu, 02 Apr 2009 19:26:02 +0100

I seem to be getting a lot of spam these days asking the question "can she have multiple orgasms?". Or rather, a variant of some sort where one of the words is spelled incorrectly: "cann she have multiple orgasms", for instance, or "can she haves multiple orgasms". They always spell "orgasms" right, but then that's probably all they're really thinking about.

I don't look beyond the subject line, because it's functionally equivalent to those terrible panel sessions they have at some of the conferences I go to where the name of the session is a question, and the answer is one word long and obvious (or at least "obvious to those skilled in the art", as IP lawyers would no doubt put it). I'm pretty sure if I start looking at the main message of the spam I'll see that it's been written by a creative director for Razorfish.

If they must start their spam with a question, surely there are more interesting ones in the same general area? "Is she getting multiple orgasms?" for instance. Or even "why isn't she getting multiple orgasms?", if we're going to be pessimistic about her sex life.

Or just skip the question and be honest: "you're rubbish in bed, buy stuff from us so you'll still be rubbish but can blame us instead of your inability to find the clitoris".

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If she can't, I pity her