Next week: Dave, on politicians.

John Finnemore — Thu, 28 May 2009 19:52:22 +0100

You are 100% correct and 0% pear correct in your prediction about my reaction to this. What kind of scale is it that goes from Disappointment to Pear? Pear Crumble: 56% Pear, 44% Disappointment. Pear Drops: 15% Pear, 85% Disappointment. Paul Newman: 0% Pear, 100% Disappointment. But worst of all is the 'Steve, on Estate Agents' bit. Oh God, that makes my skin crawl. Steve. He's such a funny bloke, Steve. You really must try and get him on estate agents, he sees right through them! He's hilarious, Steve. Steve. Gotta love Steve.

Pieces of advertising material that might annoy John Finnemore - part one of at least seventy

James Lark — Mon, 18 May 2009 12:44:49 +0100

So Magners are selling their Pear Cider on what they seem to believe is its unusual quality of actually containing what it says it does, viz. pear.

They clearly think they're making a clever point about advertising, highlighted by some observational comedy on estate agents from 'Steve'. (Steve, if they say it's 'light and airy' and it only has one window which can open, try a different estate agent. It's a crap time to be buying a house anyway.)

But I could put up with this non-selling point or this slightly tired joke if it wasn't for the fact that Magners compound their lack of originality with an out-and-out LIE. Magners Pear Cider is NOT, as they claim, 100% pear. That would be pear juice. Either that, or the 100% is true and the cider bit is a lie. I won't stand for either.

Their second statistic is even more dubious. '0% disappointment', they claim. Really? How did they arrive at this figure? (I see no small print advising 'disappointment measured from a survey of 200 pear lovers and rounded down to the nearest whole number'.) I wonder if it might not be a statistic at all but simply a guess, perhaps based on what they assume must be the response to their drink:

'Look, honey, it's a pear cider which actually contains what it says it does! My, I am pleased - I had imagined that, like Pear's Soap, it wouldn't really contain pears. But it does, and 100% pears no less! I must say, that leaves absolutely no room for me to be disappointed by it. If I could measure my disappointment now, I would say it would come it at around 0%!'

Whereas I'm guessing an equally common response is: 'Mmm, so it's cider made entirely from pears. Isn't cider meant to be made from apples? Oh well, I'll give it a try... *sip* Mmm. It's okay I suppose, but the apple stuff is the real deal. This is mildly disappointing. Only mildly, mind, but certainly between 10% and 20% if such a thing could be measured'.

That Magners have based their television adverts around the lies of other products is more than a little ironic. And the fact that it's Mark Watson trying to sell it to me doesn't make it any better.

Talk To Rex - Pieces of advertising material that might annoy John Finnemore - part one of at least seventy - Comments

Next week: Dave, on politicians.

Pieces of advertising material that might annoy John Finnemore - part one of at least seventy