Did I read this morning that on Thursday, George W Bush will be sitting down to a nosh-up 'overseen' by Nigella Lawson? I'm not sure what disturbs me more, that a TV chef gets to meet the executive leader of the United States of America ... or that Nigel Lawson's daughter has to decide whether to poison him or not.

On a related note, were I one of the fourteen thousand police officers who are being used to guard against grandmothers during Bush's visit, I'd be sorely tempted to roll into work, look over my assignment, and then walk out again with the words "let the fuckers get him". Perhaps they could all transfer to Cambridgeshire Constabulary and help find out who keeps nicking our bikes.