Last Christmas day I accompanied my parents to their church, which is a little on the trendy side, and was forced to endure a congregational rendition of a "hymn" to the tune of the hokey cokey (I'm not making this up) which had the refrain "Sheep, shepherds, baby Jesus!".

And actions.

So churches are supposed to save your soul, not destroy it, but I've learned to expect this kind of thing from a certain branch of evangelicalism. I had naively imagined that traditional places of worship would never be infected by such lunacy.

So I am appalled - it's the only word - to learn that this year's Carols from King's will include a carol set to the tune of "Where has the knitted character been this week?"...