In 1642 Oliver Cromwell, Lord Protector of this sceptered isle, banned all forms of theatrical production*. It is therefore thanks to him that we don’t have any nasty, corrupt theatre in this country any more.

So I would like to offer my commiserations to the brave Christian martyrs who burned their TV licences outside BBC Television Centre at the weekend in protest against the broadcast of Jerry Springer – the Opera. If only they had succeeded in getting it pulled from the schedules, they would have put an end to swearing in this country. Good on them, anyway, for voicing their anger at a show which has caused them so much offence even though none of them had even apparently seen it! Cromwell would have been proud of you.

And shame on the BBC for not realising that these religious zealots have a God-given right to censor art that is not suitable for everybody else.

* Actually, it seems that Cromwell liked musicals and occasionally made exceptions for them. Which suggests that he was a little bit gay. (He also occasionally wore a diaper.)

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