Ronnie, one of the charming people I work with when I’m not pretending to be an actor, just came back from lunch to announce that he’d “given Cilla Black a chip”. It turned out he meant this literally – she was filming in a fish and chip shop he’d gone into and had asked him if she could scab one.

Tragically he didn’t ask her to choose one of the three tasty morsels concealed on the other side of his hand.

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