Happy new year…

…and, unusually for what is often the dullest day in the whole year, it’s turning out to be one.

Yes. I am very very happy at the moment.

Is it because I had the best fun ever last night? Actually no. Last night I was dragged along to a horrific club by somebody I previously considered a friend. His name is Luke Staiano – I name and shame him here not because I am vindictive, but because he’s constantly complaining that I haven’t named him on this blog. (Also that my Dad didn’t offer him a cake on a previous occasion, but that’s a different story.)

No, the reason I am happy is that today I bought a sonic screwdriver. (Like the one in Doctor Who, if you’re ignorant as to the nature of the tool.)

Both Luke and his housemate Adam (who is a good cook) were scathing about my excitement over a small piece of plastic. What neither of them realised is this: it is simply the best toy in the world.

I have been walking around pretending to unlock doors and explode hidden landmines with it. On the tube I pretended I was making the doors open at each station with it. When the co-op down the road was closed I tried to open the doors with my sonic screwdriver, and when I ended up buying ingredients for dinner at the garage down the road I tried to pay the chip-and-pin machine with it.

(In the last two instances I failed, but I live in hope that one day a fluke of sonic power might make the thing actually work.)

It is impossible to describe, particularly to those unfamiliar with the Doctor’s trusty instrument, just how much pleasure five and a half inches of plastic (six and a half when extended) can give you.

A very happy new year to you all. I’m having one.

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