Heaven help people who actually expect to learn something while studying for their be-like-us Britishness test. Ignoring for a moment the weird capitalisation (because neat English isn’t terribly British), and instead boggle at the idea that a Britishness test – a way of determining whether someone has sufficient knowledge of British norms, culture and government to be able to successfully integrate in society – can be prepared for by a “life in the UK handbook”, and assessed using multiple choice questions. Which of course you can practice beforehand on the official website, because otherwise it would be discriminatory.

Sample Britishness test question

I’m always amazed at the waste of time spent in preparing for these kinds of tests, given how spoonfed towards a pass you are. Then I remember that some people fail the Driving Test Theory, and I despair.

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