We learn three things from the movie of Transformers.

  1. Moving (as opposed to static) cinematography does not work with incredibly fast-moving action sequences, because you can’t tell what the hell’s going on
  2. CGI isn’t nearly good enough to make Transformers look real yet
  3. Otherwise capable Hollywood people get a hard-on when thinking about giant robots, and stop doing their jobs properly

I mean, come on, people. Did it totally escape everyone’s notice that the reason everyone loved the comics was that it was about the people interacting with the robots, not having two indistinguishable grey blurs beat the crap out of each other? And what was up with the military thing? When has adding the military to any film made it better¹? And did you just, like, look over the last draft of the script and go “oops, we missed out the love interest”, and bolt on Geek Love Story 101, then edit it out again in post?

But then, Steven Spielberg has had problems with extra-terrestrial films before…

¹ Aliens doesn’t count.

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