Seven years of bumper crops are on their way

I dreamt that I had a meeting with Gordon Brown on behalf of some committee that wanted him to fund their magazine in return for a year’s free subscription. The committee itself seemed to be full of Anglican-looking old biddies who were cross that I’d visited Gordon Brown previously and failed to bring up the subscription offer, so this time I was rather sheepishly accompanying them in a visit.

We descended a long, red carpeted staircase to get to Brown’s office, which was a large, plush affair, and he shook our hands and invited us to sit on some equally plush sofas. Then he got started by asking with a smile, “so, do we think families are a good thing?”

He obviously wasn’t that interested in what we really thought about families, because he immediately went off on one about family values and how he intended to implement them. I decided I’d show how on the ball I was by making a slightly jokey comment about how it all seemed a bit Thatcherist, but Gordon was extremely pissed off at me interrupting and shook his hand in my face as he carried on talking aggressively about his values. Then, hitting his head repeatedly with his fists, he shouted “but people just criticise everything I say and it’s like there’s this GREAT – BIG – STONE on my head!”

I woke up feeling annoyed with Gordon Brown for not being more willing to listen to what I thought.

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