Video game

So at the moment I’m doing research for a film I’m writing. By “research”, what I really mean is that I’m watching lots of other films, some for vibe, some for content similarity, some just because they’re good films I haven’t seen in a while. And while doing this I realised I never watch videos any more.

At least, other than at the moment.

So here’s my proposal: I have two or three hundred videos. If you want one, make me an offer, and you can have it. A tangible offer, of any value. Half a pint of beer is fine. Half a pint of love is not (unless it’s very good love). If the offer is sufficiently ridiculous, you’ll probably have to nag me or come and pick it up yourself.

But why, I hear the more percipient readers asking, do you call this a video game? Surely it’s a video giveaway, with cashback? Well, for two reasons.

Firstly, I’m not telling you which videos I own. Sure, you can figure some of them out by Googling through old diary entries. But it’s more fun if you just guess.

Secondly, some videos I haven’t actually watched. If you guess one of them, and I still want to watch it, you’ll have to wait a bit – so I’ll give you another video that is a bit like it, according to my own skewed criteria, as compensation for having to hold on. You’ll still get the one you asked for as well, eventually.

There are actually a very few videos I’m not going to part with, and if you guess one of them I’ll give you something else at random instead. You can refuse to accept the alternative in this case (but not in the previous case).

Questions you may want answered

  • I don’t have a video player. Can I still play?
    Of course! Videos can be used for so much more than televisual entertainment. They make admirable bookends, for instance.
  • How often can I play?
    As often as you like, although I reserve the right not to bother replying as quickly as people contact me.
  • What counts as a tangible offer?
    Good question. Whatever seems fun to me. Try your luck, but in general for an offer to be tangible it should probably be an offer of something tangible.
  • Can I be famous?
    Not really, although I will post the offers I’m given, and the films they were offered for. If you don’t want your name associated with this for the rest of the life of the Internet, let me know in advance.
  • Do the videos work?
    Probably. Some may not. Some may catch fire. Your risk, not mine.
  • What happens if I offer some excrement?
    You keep it. Anything that I deem to be unfair on me I’ll just refuse. If I’m in a good mood I might give you the video anyway, but I’m not guaranteeing anything. Don’t offer anything unnecessarily biological (unless you have a Hunter preparation: that’d be cool), illegal or otherwise daft. Also, don’t offer me back videos I’ve already given away, or anything by Celine Dion.
  • How do I play?
    Just email me, or leave a comment here.

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