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From the Blogger blog:

Not sure if you knew this already or not but we’ve got a couple different styles of Blogger tee shirts in the Googlestore. One of them looks like an old gym shirt-good for doing exercising between posts. Highly recommended for active bloggers.

I’ve never seen exercising used as a gerund before – is this just an American (ie: SAE) thing? We have the perfectly good word exercises which would have done here, and would have sounded a little more normal. Imagine what would happen if we all went this way:

Now we all have knowing of his doing exercising with his young lover.

It strangely sounds like German (but then right now everything sounds like German, because I’ve just returned from a Romance country).

…because James Casey was curious to know who she was.

Seeing as I am working at home this week, I dropped in to see what was happening in Ramsey Streey yesterday, and it is becoming increasingly clear why they burned down the coffee shop.

The whole thing now centres around a beauty parlour of some sort and every other scene involves Boyd getting his top off.

This sort of thing never happened when Jason Donovan was in the show.

I just popped over to the Co-op to buy some toilet paper and found myself physically unable to purhase the cheapest brand because it bore the slogan “love your bum”.

Maybe I’m just’s not in touch with my body in the way other people are, but I don’t want to think about my bottom in that way, least of all when I’m wiping it. I certainly don’t want the Co-op thinking about my bottom in that way, either. Neither do I want my housemate to think that I think about his bottom in that way, and the fact that other people may at one time or another have voiced approval of my backside does not alter my objections one bit. They are not the people who buy my toilet paper, after all.

To: david.howarth@cambridgelibdems.org.uk
Sent: 06 May 2005 17:37
Subject: Parliamentary query

Dear David,

Many congratulations on your victory in the Parliamentary election yesterday.

Anne Campbell, whose shoes you are (figuratively of course) stepping into, was a member of the Parliamentary choir. Although she had many facets which I shall not particularly miss, I did find it somehow reassuring to know that my MP was throwing herself into the arts on a regular basis – albeit surrounded by a pot-pourri of Lords and Westminster high-flyers. I wondered if you had any plans to continue this fine choral tradition set by your predecessor?

I believe that Mrs Campbell sang in the alto section. I would suggest that you would be unwise to do this yourself unless you have been especially trained for such things.

All the very best of luck,

James Lark

From : David Howarth
Sent : 06 May 2005 22:55:14

Many thanks – but I fear that my voice would not be up to standard in any register!

Regards,

David Howarth

Every election has its winners and its losers: the new MPs, fresh-faced and keen to take up their representative duties; and those who have heard the division called for the last time. I remember watching a Spitting Image special after the 1992 general election, where they carted away the latex puppets of the old characters we’d see no more, to melt them down and make more Norman Lamonts.

This year, we had our fair share of spills and thrills – Trimble out, Galloway taking Oona King’s seat, and Stephen Twigg disappearing back to wherever he came from. However I honestly didn’t expect Michael Howard to do anything other than battle on to the next general election, no matter what happened on the night. But no – he is standing down, probably by the end of the year, and with him goes a small piece of political history.

The Michael Howard Song.

My enduring memory of Fringe 2003 was – despite my best efforts – the pervasive strains of the “Standing on a Podium” song, murdered every day on the Royal Mile by a group we have all sworn never to mention by name. For Fringe 2004, I’m afraid to say it was probably James’ song about Michael Howard. I’ve been looking forward to Howard’s departure from frontline politics ever since.

So farewell then, the Michael Howard Song. And Michael – if you’re listening, please don’t change your mind.

Congratulations to David Howarth, the new MP for Cambridge.

As I stumbled out of a vaguely disreputable establishment in the early hours of this morning, I was greeted by a group of Liberal Democrats trying to win the student vote by handing out balloons.

In a way, this sad, pathetic balloon kind of sums up the Lib Dems.

In 1988 when Daleks accidentally ended up with human emotions they just got confused, spun around and evaporated. They didn’t blub about it, they didn’t have tinkly piano soundtracks. They went “pouf”.

In 1988 when politicians were forced to shamefully resign from cabinet they were never ever seen again.

The Sunday Telegraph reveals that Tony Blair is planning, upon his re-election, to re-incorporate David Blunkett in the Cabinet in “some kind of enforcing role”.

WHAT??? You mean after all our excitement that the fascist git got his come-uppance, he’s going to be back in Cabinet after mere months??? As “The Enforcer”, the kind of police-state uber-dictatorial position he’s always longed for??????

Has Tony Blair gone totally MAD???? Didn’t he learn his lesson from Doctor Who last night ? (The Daleks were described has having had “all human emotions removed except hate…” – replace the lethal armoured outer casing with a guide dog and who have you got?)

This can’t happen. It can’t it can’t it can’t it can’t…

(Note to self: delete this entry when Blair is re-elected, less it is found by The Enforcer and recriminations are incurred.)